The Storm

During a terrible storm, a ship was wrecked leaving only two survivors who swan to a small, desert like island. Not knowing what else to do, the two men agree that they had no other recourse but to pray to God. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agree to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.

The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren.

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife. The next day, there was a woman who swam to his side of the land. On the other side, of the island, there was nothing.

Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these things were given to him. The second man’s side of the island remained a void.

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked at his side of the island. The first man boarded the ship with his wife, but, decided to leave the second man on the island. He considered the other man unworthy to receive God's blessings, since none of his prayers had been answered.

As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?" The first man replied; "My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them. His prayers were all unanswered and so he deserves nothing. “

"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings."

The first man asked the voice; "What did my companion pray for that I should owe him anything?"

The voice responded; "He prayed that all your prayers be answered."

For all we know, our blessings are not the fruits of our prayers alone, but those of another praying for us; a thought worth giving consideration.

Don’t forget to check out “Joe’s Big Blue Marble” http://joecampher.blogspot.com

Today's Funnies

Hello Officer


A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.

"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.

The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."

His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart alack when he's drunk."

The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."

Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"


SISTER MARY ANN'S GASOLINE



Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting housebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a Texaco gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on her way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.

She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street.

One of them turned to the other and said, 'If it starts, I'm turning Catholic.'


One Senior Citizen; One Corvette



A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing", he thought as he flew down I-45, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, 'What am I doing? I'm too old for this,' and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.'

The old gentleman paused. Then said, 'Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.'

'Have a good day, sir,' replied the trooper.

Don’t forget to check out “Joe’s Big Blue Marble”  http://joecampher.blogspot.com

God Is Too Busy

A United States Marine who had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan  was taking some college courses between assignments. One of the courses had a professor, who was an avowed atheist.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, “GOD if you are real, I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 min”. The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting.”

There were just a few minutes left in the professors timeline when the quite and unassuming Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him  off of the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, in silence. The other students were stunned, and sat  quietly. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken. He looked at the Marine and asked, “What in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?”

The Marine calmly replied, “GOD was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So He sent me.”

The classroom erupted in cheers!

Don’t forget to check out “Joe’s Big Blue Marble” http://joecampher.blogspot.com

Guts or Balls

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

 GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys and being met by your wife, who is clutching  a broom in her hands, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, having lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking there is no difference in the outcome. Both result in death.

Don’t forget to check out “Joe’s Big Blue Marble”  http://joecampher.blogspot.com

PRAYER

Father,
God bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! 

May their lives be filled with Your peace, prosperity and power as they seek to have a closer relationship with you.

Amen

Don’t forget to check out “Joe’s Big Blue Marble” http://joecampher.blogspot.com

Retired Husband

When I received this in my email box, I couldn't help, but to laugh. I know this guy and I'll bet you do too.....

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like many women, in that she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Dorothy Coleman;

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both you and him, from the store. Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

January 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

February 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

February 7: He made a trail using, a jar of brown gravy, on the floor leading to the both the ladies and men's restrooms.

February 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

March 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

March 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

March 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

March 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

April 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

April 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

May 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

May 6: While in the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

May 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

May 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

May 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

Have you tried Wal-Mart???????

Don’t forget to check out “Joe’s Big Blue Marble”  http://joecampher.blogspot.com

The Law Of The Garbage Truck

Over three years ago I found this email in my in-box. It requires no explanation. If only I could incorporate its wisdom into my life. Perhaps you can....

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly. So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.

Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a blessed and garbage-free day.

Don’t forget to check out “Joe’s Big Blue Marble”  http://joecampher.blogspot.com